Undercover Christmas
by NCISVU
Summary: Tony asks Jethro to participate in an undercover op with him over Christmas but it's not long before make believe turns all too real. Tibbs. Slash.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** I'm using this for the shipwrecked square on my hurt/comfort bingo board, just not in the traditional sense. defines shipwreck as 'destruction or ruin' so we're going with that definition. It's a stretch but I like stretchy things. :P **  
**

The story has three parts. It's finished and parts two and three will be posted tomorrow and Thursday.

* * *

 **Undercover Christmas**

 **Part I**

It was rare that Jethro found himself feeling overwhelmed. The Corps had trained him well and taught him what to do with those feelings and what the Corps hadn't taught him, Mike Frank's and NCIS had. Marines and federal agents didn't have the luxury of being overwhelmed.

No amount of time in the Corps or investigating cases with NCIS could've prepared him for his current assignment though and it was one he'd agreed to himself, without an ounce of hesitation. There was really only one word that could accurately describe his situation.

Stupid.

Not only was it the stupidest thing he'd ever done in his life, it was most likely the stupidest thing he would ever do in the years to come but he'd agreed to it for good reason, for the only reason that mattered. He was doing it for Tony.

The truth was he'd do anything for Tony and that sometimes got him in trouble. This time it had gotten him into trouble in quite a spectacular way. He thought back to a couple nights prior when Tony had showed up in his basement and requested his help.

 _"You want me to do_ what _?"_ he'd asked in shock. _"Why can't you just tell your dad the truth?"_

 _"Dad's—well, Dad's complicated,"_ Tony had replied sheepishly. _"It'll be just like an undercover op. We do it all the time."_

 _"An undercover op is spying on a drug dealer or finding a serial killer's dumping ground, Tony! Not pretending to be your gay lover in front of your father!"_ Jethro had said incredulously.

His heart had gone out to Tony though. He knew Tony well enough to know that the only reason the man had told his father he was gay, was to get out of spending Christmas with him. He'd probably guessed Senior would slam the phone down on him and never contact him again but that had backfired on him in a way that had the two of them flying to New York City together to spend Christmas with the elder DiNozzo, pretending to be lovers.

But really, how bad could it be?

"You ready, Gibbs?" Tony called from the entranceway of his house. "There's traffic backups all over the city. I don't wanna miss our flight." He paused and thought for a moment before adding, "or maybe I do," under his breath.

"Yeah," Jethro hollered from the kitchen. "My bag's by the door."

"Coffee for the road?" Tony guessed as he followed the sound of Jethro's voice to the kitchen.

"Something like that."

One whiff of the man's breath and Tony realized it wasn't coffee that he'd been drinking. He stepped closer, reached for the cabinet next to Jethro and pulled out the bottle of bourbon.

"I'm not driving," Jethro commented dismissively when he saw the look Tony was giving him.

A grin spread across Tony's face as he twisted the lid off of the bottle and poured a couple fingers for himself into the coffee mug Jethro had emptied moments before his arrival. "I can't think of a better way to start this vacation," he said, shivering as the alcohol burned all the way down his throat and into his stomach.

* * *

Tony silently willed his leg to stop shaking as the driver his father had sent for them navigated the congested downtown streets. He'd spent the short plane ride getting into character, pretending to be his longtime crush's lover but the closer they got to their final destination, the more Tony was beginning to realize that pretending in his head on an airplane for his own personal enjoyment—and boy had he enjoyed it!—was completely different than pretending for real in front of his family.

The bourbon had long since worn off, leaving nothing in his system to numb the effect of the insanity that was about to ensue. He glanced over at Jethro as their driver signaled and pulled the car to a stop in front of a tall building that hadn't changed much since Tony's childhood. He wasn't sure if he was relieved or a bit angry to find his friend sitting there as cool as a cucumber when he felt so much inner turmoil.

"I'm sorry for whatever's about to happen in there," Tony mumbled, clearly already embarrassed.

"Don't worry about it," Jethro replied nonchalantly.

Either he was putting up a damn good front or he really didn't have a care in the world. Tony didn't have time to figure it out before the doorman opened their car door and greeted them.

A light, glittery snow fell all around them, illuminated by old-timey lampposts festively decorated with wreaths and red bows. It was a sight you wouldn't find if you walked a couple miles in any direction but that made it even more magical. The unexpected sight gave the big city a small town feel and brought a smile to Jethro's face as he took a moment to stop and watch the snow fall. A gentle hand on his forearm reminded him where he was and what he was doing.

"Getting cold feet already?" Tony asked. "I understand if you wanna back out." It wouldn't have taken any convincing at all to get him back into the car and headed back towards the airport.

"No," Jethro said, "it's just…" He paused, searching for a more manly word but couldn't find one. "It's beautiful. I wasn't expecting it."

Tony took a moment to glance up and take in the scene Jethro had been admiring and a smile crossed his face too. "Yeah," he said, "I guess it is, isn't it?"

The shared moment brought a sense of calm that began to fade almost as soon as they stepped through the double glass doors into the building. After insisting on hauling their own luggage up, the two endured a quiet elevator ride to the penthouse suite.

"It's not too late to take a cab back to LaGuardia," Tony said, only half joking.

"You know, neither of us would be here if you hadn't lied to your dad," Jethro teased.

"That wasn't really an option. I told you, my dad's complicated."

"I get that," Jethro said, shooting a reassuring look Tony's way.

"Why did you agree to come?"

With a shrug Jethro answered, "I've never been one to shy away from a new adventure."

"You might get more than you bargained for with this one," Tony told the man as he knocked on the door.

Both men could hear Senior's excited rambling as the man got closer and closer to the door. Tony cringed inwardly as memories from the past came rushing back and he did his best to brace himself when the door swung open.

"Junior!" the man greeted cheerfully. "You made it! Did you have any trouble finding the driver I sent for you?"

"No, Dad. We found Alexander. Thank you."

"Well quit stalling, Son. Introduce me to your friend."

"This is Gibbs, my boyfriend," Tony said, stepping aside as Jethro extended his arm for a handshake.

"Gibbs?" Senior repeated. "You call your boyfriend by his last name?"

"Jethro," Jethro corrected. "I keep telling Tony not to call me Gibbs outside the office but sometimes he forgets." He winked at Tony, trying to cover the slip up in a way that wouldn't alert Senior.

"Welcome to my home, Jethro," Senior replied warmly. "I do hope you'll be comfortable here. We're so excited you and Junior could make it up for the holidays."

"We appreciate the invitation and the plane tickets. That would've been a long drive after working all day."

"It was my pleasure; anything to get you guys here sooner so we could have more time with you."

"Well now that we're here, do you think you could let us in the house, Dad?" Tony asked.

"Oh, of course," Senior replied. "Where are my manners? There's just one thing first, Son." The elder DiNozzo grinned and glanced up, causing both Jethro and Tony to look up as well.

"Please tell me that's holly," Tony groaned.

"You don't want to kiss your honey?" Senior seemed genuinely confused.

"Oh, it's just that I um, I had garlic for lunch and I haven't had a chance to brush my teeth," Tony lied.

"Holidays are for kissing, Anthony," Senior explained, "and there can never be too many excuses to kiss your lover. Am I right, Jethro?"

"Dad, I don't think—"

Before Tony could finish his sentence, Jethro's work-roughened hand was on his cheek, turning his head and then the man's lips were pressed against his, interrupting Tony's nervous objections with a kiss so tender and passionate that it stirred something deep inside of Tony. Tony tensed slightly at the feeling of Jethro's five o'clock shadow tickling his face. That was something he'd never experienced before but the sensation of the man's lips pressed to his was addicting and left him aching for more as the man pulled away.

"Nice to see you've found someone who can still sweep you off your feet after all this time," Senior said, and it wasn't until then that Tony realized the kiss had ended. "How long have you guys been together?"

"Oh, what has it been, Tony? 'bout five months now," Jethro lied effortlessly.

"Five months and it feels like it's only been about five hours," Tony joked.

"A love like that is refreshing and a once in a lifetime find," Senior said. "Trust me."

Jethro and Tony shared a look behind the older DiNozzo's back as the man led the way into his home.

"And there's no need to be shy, Son," Senior continued, speaking over his shoulder as they entered the thoughtfully decorated, multiple level penthouse. "You should never be shy about sharing a kiss with your sweetheart."

"Dad!" Tony grumbled but his protests were cut off by a good looking woman who appeared to be around his father's age.

"Are they here?" she asked excitedly.

"Just got here," Senior replied, slipping an arm around the woman's waist. "This is my son, Junior and his boyfriend, Jethro. Guys, this is my wife, Patty."

"Welcome," the woman greeted warmly. She gave both of them a hug and a kiss on the cheek before ushering them into the living room where a woman around Tony's age was sitting on the couch in comfortable looking pajamas, drinking hot cocoa and reading a book. "Lynn, they're here! Tony, Jethro, this is my daughter, Lynn. Lynn, this is Tony and his boyfriend Jethro."

"Welcome, guys!" Lynn popped up off the couch and dragged them both into a hug, just like her mother had done. It was warm and inviting and, somehow, it didn't feel awkward at all. "'bout time you two made it. Now the party can really start!"

"It's nice to meet you," Tony said, taken aback by the warmth, love and automatic acceptance. All the memories he had from his childhood were of a cold and distant father with stepmothers that could only be described as evil, at best. This was the exact opposite.

"Where's the Christmas tree?" Tony asked, looking around the living room.

"We don't get the tree until Christmas Eve, Junior," Senior said. "You know that."

"Oh, yes," Tony snarked. "How could I forget?"

"C'mon, I'll give you guys a tour of the place and show you to your room," Lynn said with an amused chuckle.

"There's chicken and waffles waiting for you two in the kitchen," Senior added. "Whenever you're ready the chef will whip them up."

"Such great hospitality," Jethro commented just loud enough for Tony to hear.

"You're telling me," Tony mumbled back.

A handful of hours later, they'd toured both floors of the two story penthouse, devoured a ridiculously large stack of waffles and some fried chicken that surely could've been sold in any one of the numerous five star restaurants nearby and enjoyed a lot of conversation and laughter as they got to know each other before finding themselves alone in the bedroom that had been made up for them.

Tony stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, looking around like he was lost while Jethro searched his duffle for the sweatpants he'd packed to sleep in without a care in the world.

"You alright?" Jethro asked without even looking up.

"I'm just realizing that I didn't think this whole thing through entirely before I dragged you all the way up here. I'm so sorry, Boss. I'll grab some extra blankets and make myself a bed on the floor."

"No need to sleep on the floor, Tony. That bed is huge and we're both adults here. You need to relax."

Tony rolled his eyes as Jethro disappeared into the bathroom attached to their room. So he was a little uptight? Anyone in his position would be! He couldn't figure out how Gibbs was so calm. Sure, nothing ever fazed the man but they'd kissed in the hallway. It may have been for Senior's benefit but they'd kissed, on the lips. How could Gibbs act so nonchalant about the whole thing?

 _"Relax, he says, right before crawling into bed together,"_ Tony muttered to himself. _"Sure, no problem."_

"It is what it is, Tony," Jethro called from the bathroom.

"How do you do that?" Tony asked, not expecting an answer. He rubbed his hands roughly over his face, doing his best to slip into the role he was playing, as if he truly were on an undercover assignment. It would've been easier if the feelings he was battling weren't so real and deep and personal but he'd have to let that go and just get through the next few days. He could pick up the pieces when he returned to DC. "It is what it is," he told himself.

After his turn in the bathroom, Tony found himself standing next to the king size bed with the luxury linens and expensive down pillows, staring at Jethro who had already stretched out and made himself comfortable and was even flipping channels on the TV in their room.

"Are you sure you don't want me to sleep on the floor?" Tony asked cautiously. "It's really no trouble at all."

"Get in the bed, Anthony," Jethro said.

Tony instinctively shot to attention at the order. "Getting in the bed, Boss," he barked as if he were a soldier responding to a drill sergeant. He pulled the blankets back and slipped in next to his partner, being careful to stay on his side of the bed.

"Your family's different than I thought they would be," Jethro commented as he continued mindlessly flipping channels without really paying attention to any of them.

"Ha! My family's different than _I_ thought they would be," Tony joked.

Jethro glanced over at Tony, his head resting comfortably on the thick, downy pillow.

Tony chuckled as he reached over and snatched the remote out of Jethro's hand. "You're flipping channels and you're not even looking at the TV."

"Yeah? So?" Jethro asked, a twinkle in his eye as he continued to stare at Tony. "Is this not what you were expecting from your dad?"

Tony turned the TV off and put the remote on the nightstand before turning on his side, facing Jethro. "I don't know who that guy that greeted us at the door was," he confided. "The dad I knew was distant and disconnected," he paused and laughed cynically before continuing, "drunk."

"How long has it been since you've seen him?" Jethro asked.

"Decades," Tony answered. "I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop; for the dad I know to make an appearance."

"People change, Tony," Jethro said, "especially over decades. Give him a chance. Maybe he'll surprise you."

"Yeah, maybe," Tony replied half-heartedly. "I'm just afraid he's gonna hurt me again. I can't help but feel like I need to protect myself."

"I get that." Jethro reached out and tapped Tony under the chin before turning the lamp off, sliding down in the bed and settling in to get some much needed sleep.

"Don't take this the wrong way or anything but that was the best first kiss I've ever had," Tony said from the safety of the darkness, "even if it wasn't real." He automatically regretted giving voice to the thought that most definitely should've stayed in his head but he hadn't expected a kiss at all and definitely hadn't expected one that possessed him so wholly, a kiss that reached the deepest parts of his innermost being. It had been on his mind all night.

Jethro decided against the, _'felt real to me,'_ comment. "I don't do anything half-assed, Tony," he stated matter-of-factly. "You knew that before you suckered me into this. You, on the other hand, might wanna step it up if you're planning on selling this to your family."

"Are you telling me to not be shy?"

"I'm giving you permission," Jethro mumbled tiredly as he started to drift off.

Tony hummed in acknowledgment and listened as Jethro's breathing deepened and evened out. He envied the man's ability to fall asleep at the drop of a hat. He knew he was in for a long night of contemplating his poor past choices and freaking out about what may or may not happen during their vacation.

Or maybe he could spend the night pretending they were lovers for real instead, just like he'd done on the plane. The warm, fuzzy feeling those thoughts gave him may even help him fall asleep.

* * *

The sun slowly brought about life in the penthouse condo situated near the middle of Manhattan. Despite spending half the night up getting reacquainted with his family and the other half both reveling and freaking out about the fact that he was not only sharing a room but a bed with the man who'd been consuming his thoughts since the first day he'd laid eyes on him, Tony opened his eyes when he heard Jethro whistling softly and found the man buttoning up his flannel shirt.

"Mornin'," Jethro greeted.

The grumpy expression on Tony's face didn't waver despite the happiness oozing from his partner. "Why are you so happy?" he grumbled tiredly.

"I'm a happy guy," Jethro responded cheerfully. "Why are you so grumpy?"

"I guess I'm a grumpy guy."

"Uh-huh," Jethro hummed skeptically. "C'mon, get up. Let's go get some breakfast."

Tony groaned inwardly. "Get up? I just fell asleep."

"I know."

Despite being muttered, the comment not only got Tony's attention, it sparked his curiosity. He realized the parts of himself he could go home and hide from the world couldn't be hidden when he was sharing a room with someone, especially when that someone was Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

"That's right," Jethro replied smugly, "I know. Now, are you coming to breakfast or should I head down without you?"

"Leave you alone with my family? Ha! Let me hit the head and I'll be ready."

"You don't trust me? I'm hurt."

"It's really them that I don't trust, more than it's you, if that helps any," Tony called from the bathroom as he emptied his bladder with the door only partially closed.

"I can handle myself."

"Okay, I don't trust any of you," Tony admitted, "and I'm just paranoid enough to have a nervous breakdown at the mere thought of you and my family spending time alone together without me."

The two left their room and headed through the quiet house towards the kitchen.

"You gonna spend the whole vacation babysitting me?" Jethro asked.

"Maybe not the _whole_ vacation. I mean, you probably won't need a babysitter while you're sleeping..." He let his sentence trail off and shot a fun, playful look over at Jethro. The remark earned him a swift kick in the ass as the two stepped into the dining room.

As soon as they sat down at the table, Senior's personal chef immediately started fussing over them. A cup of strong, black coffee appeared in front of Jethro and a frilly cup of hazelnut coffee landed in front of Tony with a promise of food to come.

And boy did it come.

A pot of fragrant, apple cinnamon oatmeal was placed in the center of the table and was quickly surrounded with eggs and breakfast meats, fruits, muffins and bagels and an array of other breakfast goodies. Tony filled a bowl with the irresistible oatmeal while Jethro put a sausage patty between two halves of a buttermilk biscuit and then doused the whole thing in sausage gravy.

They'd just started eating when Lynn appeared, the sleep still poking at her eyes and her hair sticking up in every direction imaginable, and joined them at the table.

"Mornin'," both Jethro and Tony greeted in unison.

Lynn froze in place, staring at them momentarily. "Wow," she commented, "in unison. That's cute."

The chef appeared with Lynn's coffee as the woman scooped some scrambled eggs onto her plate and ladled a healthy portion of the sausage gravy over them before putting a few pieces of bacon on the edge of the plate.

"You guys must've been tired last night," she said.

"Huh?" Tony asked around a mouthful of oatmeal.

"My room's right next to yours," Lynn explained nonchalantly, "and you guys were awfully quiet last night. I would've thought with all that testosterone I would've heard all kinds of interesting noises."

Tony immediately started coughing, trying to dislodge the apple cinnamon oatmeal that had somehow gotten stuck in his throat.

Jethro watched Tony for a moment before roughly patting the man's back and turning his attention back to Tony's stepsister. "Yesterday was a long day," he explained with the same air of nonchalance Lynn seemed to have.

Lynn watched curiously as Tony finally managed to clear his throat and get air to his lungs again. "You alright there, Tony?"

"Yeah," Tony managed to get out before taking a sip of his coffee. "You're not shy, are you?"

"We're all family here," Lynn replied with a shrug. "There's no need to be shy, is there?"

"I guess not," Tony replied, ducking his head to hide his reddened cheeks. Maybe he should've stayed in bed after all.

It wasn't long before Senior and Patty joined the group at the breakfast table. Both were as well put together as they'd been the night before and just as boisterous and cheerful. They added endless conversation to the meal that was thankfully not about the noises coming from Jethro and Tony's bedroom the previous night.

"So, what's on the agenda for today?" Lynn asked as the meal wrapped up.

"I thought we could take a walk through Macy's Santaland and then maybe do a little window shopping," Senior answered. "It's a bit touristy but everyone should experience an authentic New York City Christmas at least once in their lifetime."

Tony's spoon slipped from his fingers and the loud clanging drew everyone's attention.

"Is everything okay, Junior?"

"Santaland and window shopping," Tony repeated in a near whisper. "That's what Mom and I used to do."

"I thought it might bring back some fond memories for you, Son, but if you'd rather not, I understand," Senior replied with genuine concern.

Tony looked around the table and realized everyone had stopped eating and was staring at him and they all had concerned looks on their faces. It wasn't until Jethro's strong fingers curled around his bicep and his thumb rubbed comfortingly over the tense muscle that Tony found his words. "Yeah, of course. That, uh, that sounds like fun."

* * *

Jethro had always thought his mother made the absolute best hot chocolate and the cup Senior had purchased for him at the street side stand, as thick, rich and chocolatey as it was, didn't change his mind but it did make him curious about why a beverage that was relaxing him and putting him in the holiday spirit seemed to be having the opposite effect on Tony.

The others may not have noticed but it was plainly obvious to Jethro how hard Tony had tried to hide behind his smile and jokes as they strolled through Santaland and things weren't getting much better as they strolled along the crowded sidewalks, peering into the windows of some of the most expensive stores in the nation.

Jethro bumped shoulders with Tony in an attempt to engage the man but he hardly seemed to notice. Tony was completely zoned out and Jethro had a feeling it was only a matter of time before all the tension and building angst came to an explosive conclusion. He just wished he knew what was bothering the man so he could help.

"Hey," he whispered quietly enough that only Tony would be able to hear him.

Nothing.

"Tony."

Still nothing.

"Junior, do you remember the elaborate train display they used to set up in this window?" Senior asked jovially, seemingly unaware of Tony's inner turmoil.

As soon as Tony stopped dead in his tracks in the middle of the busy sidewalk and whipped his head around in his father's direction, Jethro knew things were going to get bad but all he could do was stand back and watch and be there to help Tony pick up the pieces when it was all over.

"Do you, Dad?" Tony snapped. "Do you remember it?"

Senior was taken aback by the sharp outburst and looked truly lost. "Junior?"

"What are we doing?" Tony continued angrily. "What are _you_ doing?" His father had never taken an interest in Christmas before; not when his mother had been alive or after she'd passed and it had been the source of a lot of hurt for Tony. Why was he being Mr. Holly and Jolly now? What was he up to?

Jethro wondered if he was the only one who could see past the anger and hear the true desperation in Tony's voice. Judging by the look on his father's face, the man was completely clueless.

"Well, I—I just thought we could do a little window shopping," Senior stuttered, "get in the holiday spirit but if you're not enjoying yourself, we can head back to the house."

"Don't you put this on me, Dad!" Tony replied sharply before turning and marching off to continue window shopping at stores they'd never actually be able to afford to purchase anything at.

Jethro looked at the group sympathetically before turning and hurrying off after Tony. He fell into line next to him, glanced over and saw the man's eyes set firmly in determination and his lips pursed in a thin, straight line. He knew better than to try to talk to Tony in front of everyone so instead he cautiously reached out and latched his pinky onto Tony's in a show of support. They were supposed to be lovers, after all, and what better way to keep up the façade? Besides, Tony had always been very responsive to his touch.

As they continued walking along the busy sidewalks, bumping elbows with hundreds of strangers, Senior's loud, lively voice faded into the crowd and Tony willed himself to calm down while the others pretended nothing had happened, hoping to make it home without another outburst. Tony could see the concern in Jethro's eyes and instantly felt guilty for putting it there while Senior pondered what might be going on with his son that had caused such a scene.

The awkwardness continued when they made it back to the house and Tony immediately disappeared to their bedroom. Jethro followed behind after politely excusing both of them to Tony's still confused family. He stepped into the bedroom and found Tony frantically pacing and muttering softly to himself.

"Hey," Jethro said.

When Tony didn't seem to register his presence, Jethro stepped into the man's path and rested his hands on Tony's shoulders, stopping his pacing.

"What's going on?" he asked when Tony's eyes finally met his.

"What're you talking about? Nothing's going on."

Jethro looked more amused than angry but there was no way he was letting Tony get away with that lie. "So your family outings always end up with someone making a scene in the middle of Fifth Avenue, in front of hundreds of strangers?"

Tony looked up at Jethro again and for the first time seemed to register who he was talking to. He backed out of the man's grasp, walked over to the bed that someone had made while they'd been out and sat down on the foot of it. Staying with Senior was like staying in a hotel and Tony didn't like the pretentiousness of it. "It's bad enough I dragged you up here to pretend to be my gay boyfriend," he said. "I won't drag you into my family drama too."

Jethro walked over to the bed and sat down with his back resting against the headboard, silently conveying the message that he wasn't going anywhere. "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to be dragged into the drama, Tony. Tell me."

Jethro continued to ask and Tony continued to avoid answering but what had started out as a curiosity and need to help turned into a playful game of who was going to cave first. When Tony flopped back against the bed with an exacerbated sigh after Jethro asked what had to be the tenth time, Jethro playfully rubbed his socked foot up against Tony's face, just to get a smile out of him.

"I guess I'll just have to torture it out of you instead," Jethro joked.

Smiles and teasing turned to tickling and then a never before seen form of modified wrestling that ended in a somewhat awkward leg hold with Tony face first in Jethro's crotch. The touching and playfulness had certainly awakened other parts of Tony's anatomy and gotten his mind moving in that direction but he never would've admitted it.

The laughing stopped as soon as the two realized what had happened and Tony found himself scrambling out of the bed only to reveal the fullness in the front of his pants and of course when he looked down at it to see how obvious it was, Jethro's eyes followed.

"I, um, I should, I gotta—" The stuttering continued as Tony backed up towards the door before he disappeared into the hallway, quite possibly to never be seen again. Maybe he'd gotten lucky and Jethro hadn't noticed.

Jethro rubbed his hands over his face and dropped bonelessly against the bed then started chuckling to himself again at the whole situation. Once he had his body under control, he got up and headed off to find Tony. After peeking in several rooms, he finally found the man in the library, sitting in a fancy armchair with one leg over the arm of the chair and his head in his hands.

"Tell me to stop," Jethro said, standing right in front of Tony.

Tony looked up at the man, his cheeks still tinted a light shade of red. Despite knowing what was probably the wise, correct answer, he whispered the opposite. "No."

Jethro raised his eyebrows at Tony in approval. "Okay then."

Tony watched as Jethro turned and headed towards the door. Suddenly the issues he had with his father were no longer important. He was much more interested in whatever was going on between him and Jethro and curious if the other man felt the same shift he was experiencing.

"And from what I saw, you've got nothing to be ashamed of," Jethro said before he disappeared, leaving Tony alone once again.

"Ugh!" Tony groaned. Jethro had noticed. Of course he'd noticed. He was Jethro Gibbs and Jethro Gibbs noticed everything. _Everything._ Not only that, Jethro's approving tone was causing a similar reaction as the wrestling had. "You behave," he said firmly, pointing at his crotch.

It was almost an hour later when Tony left the safety of the library and found Jethro and Lynn in the dining room, drinking coffee and chatting.

"Get everything under control?" Lynn asked.

Tony instantly shot Jethro a horrified look.

"What?" Jethro asked. "I didn't say anything."

Lynn, who had initially been referring to Tony's emotional outburst that morning, almost instantly realized that something else had happened between the two men. "Oh!" she exclaimed knowingly. "Is that what's been causing all of this? I knew your room was too quiet last night and then you were all frustrated this morning. You two get that all taken care of?"

"Shut up," Tony said, horrified by the turn in conversation. "That's not what's going on."

"Relax, Tony," Jethro said, playfully pinching at the man's side, hoping to help him calm down. "She's just poking fun."

Tony dropped into the chair next to Jethro and grabbed the man's coffee. The shy smile on his face told the other two that he knew it was all good natured fun. He could only hope Jethro didn't see the embarrassment caused by wishing their pretend relationship was anything but. "I know," he said.

"I got Tony in a cock sucking leg hold and he's being a poor sport about it," Jethro explained, winking at Tony.

Tony could not have looked any more shocked if he'd tried as he processed what Jethro had said. "You so do not play fair!" he exclaimed when he finally managed to speak again. "That's the only way you got me in that hold. Might even be the reason you didn't get your cock sucked," he taunted.

Footsteps alerted the group to Senior and Patty's presence and the group had quieted down by the time the parents stepped into the dining room.

"What are we talking about?" Senior asked.

"Blow jobs," Lynn answered with no apology.

"Lynn!" Patty scolded.

"Anthony!" Senior reprimanded.

"Jethro started it!" Tony and Lynn protested at the same time.

"What?" Jethro asked innocently when all eyes turned to him.

"Anyways," Senior said, changing the topic as quickly as he could, "Patty and I have my office Christmas party tonight. Are you guys sure you don't want to come with us?"

"We're sure," Tony and Lynn answered.

Senior pulled his wallet out and thumbed through a couple bills before dropping a generous amount onto the table in the middle of the group. "In that case, you kids order yourselves some takeout and enjoy your evening. We'll probably be home late."

"You do realize we all have jobs and can afford our own dinner," Lynn said, staring at the money.

"You guys save your money," Senior said, dismissing the idea without giving it any thought. "Dinner's on us." The elder DiNozzo wrapped his arm around his wife and smiled from ear to ear at the three adults he considered to be his children.

"Thanks, Dad," Tony said.

"Thank you," Jethro and Lynn mimicked.

* * *

Every single cupboard door in the kitchen was hanging open as Tony stood back and studied the contents inside. Lynn was in the walk-in pantry, taking stock of the ingredients in there while Jethro was leaned up against the kitchen island, watching them. It was getting late but they'd been talking about Christmas cookies and had decided they had to have some. With Senior and Patty still at their party and the chef off for the night, it was up to them to make the cookies themselves.

"Calling for backup?" Jethro asked when Tony pulled his cell phone out of his pocket.

"Something like that," Tony said. "I'm Googling a recipe."

"And is there a reason all the cabinet doors are open?" Jethro asked curiously.

"So we don't have to spend all night searching for ingredients and tools," Lynn answered for Tony as she stepped out of the pantry. "It's easier this way."

Tony looked over at his stepsister in surprise. "Wow," he said, "maybe we really are related."

"You know, we could find an all-night cookie shop and buy some," Jethro suggested.

"You were the one telling stories about baking cookies with your mom," Tony said. "Buying cookies is cheating."

"That's the second time today Tony's accused you of cheating or not playing fair," Lynn pointed out.

"Ugh, don't even go there again!" Tony groaned as a smile spread across Jethro's face.

"Alright," Jethro said, rolling the sleeves of his flannel shirt halfway up his forearms, "Lynn, you grab the ingredients. I'll get the mixing bowls and stuff. Tony, you're in charge of a recipe."

"Grandma's Christmas cutouts," Tony announced happily. "If it's got Grandma's name on it, it's gotta be delicious, right?"

"Makes sense to me," Lynn answered.

In no time at all Tony had figured out how to print the recipe from his phone to his father's printer and Jethro and Lynn had everything they needed to make the fairly simple recipe conveniently lined up on the counter. Sugar and butter were creamed together while the group got to know each other even better. Flour, eggs and a handful of other ingredients were added to the mix as the conversation continued.

"So you're a paralegal from Connecticut," Tony said. "That means we're in a similar line of work. Well, unless... You don't work for a defense attorney, do you?"

"No," Lynn answered with a laugh. "I work mostly in corporate law. It's kind of boring compared to criminal law but I don't have serial killers stalking me or anything like that so I'm okay with it."

"I don't think I'd know what to do if it weren't for serial killer stalkers and other such thugs," Tony joked. "They make life interesting."

While the dough was setting in the freezer, the group worked on cleaning up the kitchen but not without making more of a mess first. Jethro clapped a handful of flour on Tony's head and Tony got him back by exploding an entire bag of flour over his head.

"Oh my gosh, you guys!" Lynn said in shock.

"Shit, Tony," Jethro added with a laugh. "I think you take payback a little too seriously."

Tony could barely stop laughing long enough to answer. "That was kind of an accident. I didn't mean to get you quite so covered but I gotta say, this is pretty much the greatest thing ever." He grabbed his phone and pointed it at Jethro as he spoke. "I need a picture." Before Jethro could protest, Tony was snapping pictures amid fits of giggles.

"Let me get one with both of you," Lynn said, grabbing Tony's phone.

She'd just snapped a picture when a voice behind them interrupted the fun.

"Is everything okay in here?"

Jethro, Tony and Lynn turned to see Senior's housekeeper in her pajamas and robe, standing in the doorway to the kitchen looking at the mess in horror.

"Oh, yeah, um, everything's fine," Tony said moving between the woman and mess, hoping to block her view.

"We'll get this all cleaned up," Jethro assured her as he escorted her out of the kitchen. "We didn't mean to wake you. We'll quiet down. Don't worry about anything."

"I can clean it up," the woman offered.

"No, no," Lynn insisted. "We'll clean it up. You enjoy your evening. We're sorry we disturbed you."

"If you guys change your minds," the woman said, pointing towards her room.

"Thank you," Jethro said. "G'night."

The housekeeper closed the door to her bedroom and the snickering started all over again. Jethro turned and chased Tony and Lynn back into the kitchen, shaking flour off of himself at them. The quieted down squeals didn't stop until Jethro had shaken all the flour he could from himself onto the others and they were all liberally covered in white.

"Did you and your mom have this much fun making cookies?" Tony asked as they started cleaning again.

"Well, she never exploded a bag of flour on my head," Jethro teased, "but yeah. I looked forward to it every year."

"What about you, Lynn?"

"My mom isn't much of a baker," Lynn said before pausing and giggling. "Who am I kidding? My mom can't bake at all!"

"My mom wasn't much of a baker either," Tony said, "but there was this mother and son who would sell homemade sugar cookies in Central Park every year and they were the best cookies I've ever had. I think my mom paid double for them and I'm not sure but I don't think the mom and son were very well off.

"Sounds like you and your mom had some fun adventures," Jethro said.

"We did and Christmas was her favorite time of year. The decorations, the holiday cheer and goodwill towards men, she couldn't get enough of it." Tony reached for the freezer door but paused for a moment and looked back at Jethro and Lynn. "Maybe that's why my dad wouldn't do anything Christmasy with me after she died. Maybe he missed her too much."

"Maybe," Jethro agreed, getting his first clue about why Tony wasn't big on Christmas and what might've been bothering him earlier that day. "Maybe you should talk to him about it."

"Nah," Tony said with a dismissive shake of his head. "We're DiNozzos and DiNozzos don't talk about their feelings or anything like that."

He opened the freezer door and pulled their cookie dough out, his mouth watering already. After pinching off a chunk of raw dough to sample, he put a much larger portion on the floured countertop for Lynn who was waiting to roll it out. While the two rolled the dough and used cookie cutters to cut it into holiday shapes, Jethro got the oven warmed up and readied a couple cookie sheets to bake the cookies on.

Fifteen minutes later they were pulling their first batch out of the oven and staring at the pans in amusement.

"Mom and Dad are gonna think we did this on purpose," Lynn commented.

"Especially after they caught Jethro talking about blow jobs earlier," Tony added.

"They look," Jethro hesitated, swallowing hard as he stared at the cookies on the tray, "they look perfectly innocent to me."

"Seriously?" Lynn asked, raising an eyebrow at the man.

"Santa's got giant Christmas tree ornaments for balls and it looks like Donner and Blitzen are humping," Tony pointed out.

"And don't forget the elf with a dick the size of a, well, a candy cane," Lynn added.

"So we baked the cookies a little too close together," Jethro said with a shrug. "I doubt anyone will even notice."

"Abby will!" Tony said, grabbing his phone to take a picture. "We work with Abby," he explained to Lynn. "She loves shit like this."

"Take your picture and then we better eat these before anyone else sees them," Lynn said. "At least the obscene ones."

"Dibs on the elf with the candy cane dick," Tony called.

"Sounds like you coulda had the real thing earlier if you weren't such a poor sport," Lynn goaded.

"Really?" Tony said incredulously. "Are we really gonna go there again?"

"You're never gonna live that one down," Lynn informed the man. "At least not until I find something better to tease you about."

"Jethro, you're never allowed to talk to Lynn again."

"Hey, I wasn't the one who blew that one," Jethro reminded Tony. "That was all you, Skippy."

"Shit," Tony grumbled. "Note to self, remember to never talk to Lynn again."

"Don't forget my room is right next door to yours," Lynn said, "and I'm part private investigator. I don't need you to tell me things!" she taunted playfully.

"My life is over," Tony groaned dramatically. "I don't know why I ever wanted a sibling growing up."

"Well now you have one and you're stuck with me."

The teasing continued while the group finished baking the rest of the cookies and got their mess cleaned up then they said goodnight and headed off to their rooms.

"It's almost 4:00," Tony pointed out in shock. "I can't remember the last time I stayed up this late, other than working a case, of course."

"Maybe it'll keep your stepsister from inquiring about our sex life at breakfast," Jethro joked.

"Seems like you enjoyed talking about our sex life with her."

"I already told you, Tony, that was all you. I didn't say anything to her."

"Except that you wrestled me into a cock sucking position," Tony reminded the man.

"I was just trying to cover your slip up," Jethro countered.

"Whatever. I could always knock the headboard against the wall or bang a chair against the floor," Tony offered. "Have you ever seen _Everybody Loves Raymond_? Robbie's trying to convince Marie that they're a happy, intimate couple but he and Amy are fighting so he just bangs a chair against the floor repeatedly so his mom thinks they're doing the nasty."

"I don't think we need to go to those extremes," Jethro said, "but I'm gonna hop in the shower so you do whatever you feel is necessary. Just makes us look good if you decide to do something like that." He winked at the man and then disappeared into the bathroom to wash the flour off of himself.

After both had showered and settled in bed, Tony found himself turning towards Jethro slightly, inhaling the man's strong, clean, masculine scent as if it were the air he needed to stay alive.

"Tonight was fun," Tony said tiredly.

"Yeah," Jethro agreed, "it was." He paused and when Tony didn't continue, he spoke again. "You gonna sleep tonight?"

"I hope so," Tony answered honestly.

"Just relax, Tony," Jethro told him softly. "Don't overthink things and you'll sleep just fine."

"What if I want to overthink things?" Tony asked without even thinking.

"Then you're probably gonna be too tired to enjoy the things that are happening outside of your fantasies."

"Well, I would hate for that to happen." Tony inhaled deeply again, determined to remember the moment for the rest of his life, then closed his eyes.

"G'night, Tony."

"Goodnight, Jethro."


	2. Chapter 2

**Part II**

Tony was only half awake when he realized the bed next to him was empty. He was used to falling asleep and waking up alone but it had been nice to have someone to share a bed with the past couple nights. It made him realize how lonely he was and he felt the familiar ache that he tried desperately to keep buried spread through his heart.

His disappointment at waking up alone turned to panic as he woke fully and realized Jethro was most likely downstairs, alone with his family. Suddenly wide awake, Tony threw his legs over the edge of the bed, grabbed his jeans and then tripped and fell trying to yank them on. He jerked them into place before popping up and tugging a t-shirt over his head as he raced to the bathroom.

Once he deemed himself presentable, he took a calming breath and made his way downstairs in search of the others. He found them all gathered around the table, eating breakfast.

"Morning, Son," Senior greeted cheerfully.

"Look who finally rolled out of bed," Lynn taunted lovingly.

Tony was quickly deciding Lynn was the sibling he'd always wanted but never had. She was fun and funny and he truly enjoyed her company.

"I was gonna wake you," Jethro said, reaching out rubbing his hand over Tony's arm as the man sat down next to him, "but you looked so peaceful."

"Aww."

"With that drool dripping from the corner of your mouth." Jethro reached over and brushed his thumb across the corner of Tony's lips, as if he were wiping away the invisible drool.

Tony was so distracted by the feel of Jethro's rough thumb brushing across his sensitive lips that he almost didn't hear his stepsister giggling at the teasing.

"Get a room, you two," Lynn taunted.

"I think it's sweet," Patty said. "You guys are clearly very much in love."

Jethro winked at Tony as he pulled his thumb away. "Don't worry, I didn't tell all your secrets while you were sleeping."

"You really know how to make a guy nervous," Tony mumbled. "What are we eating?" he asked, looking curiously at Jethro's plate.

"It's a cinnamon roll waffle," Jethro answered, feeding Tony a bite from his fork.

Tony groaned happily at the explosion of flavor in his mouth. "That's fantastic!"

"It's a cinnamon roll cooked in a waffle maker," Patty said, "and instead of pouring syrup over the top, it's icing."

"The chef was gonna make regular waffles but he couldn't find the flour," Lynn informed Tony.

Tony froze mid-bite and shared a look with Jethro and Lynn, all of them knowing exactly what had happened to the chef's wayward bag of flour.

"Keep eating," Jethro said, putting another waffle on Tony's plate. "Your family's trying to make me fat and I think it's working."

"So you just figured we could get fat together?" Tony asked.

"Uh-huh. Now eat up."

"You guys are just too adorable," Lynn teased.

"That's what we're going for," Jethro snarked playfully back at her, "adorable."

"Feisty too," Lynn commented. "I love it."

Jethro winked at the woman, enjoying the banter.

"So, what are we doing today?" Tony asked as he ate.

"Patty and Lynn are going out to do some shopping," Senior answered. "I have a little bit of work I need to finish up but I'll be working from home. I wasn't sure what you two wanted to do today but I thought we could all meet up at Wolfgang's for dinner tonight. You guys are more than welcome to head out with the girls or I can have a car take you anywhere you'd like to go or you can hang out at the house."

Tony glanced over at Jethro to confirm what he already knew—the man didn't care what they did as long as it didn't involve shopping with the ladies. "I was thinking about walking Jethro down to the little hole in the wall coffee shop on the corner," he said. "I think we'll just stick close by today but thanks for the offer of the car and shopping."

"If you change your mind..." Senior said, letting his sentence trail off.

"Thanks, Dad."

"Our reservations are at eight," Senior announced. "Ladies, I have my cell phone if you need me. Junior," the man leaned to one side, pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and grabbed several large bills, "I want you and Jethro to treat yourselves to something special today."

"We don't need an allowance, Dad," Tony muttered.

"It's not an allowance—"

"Dad," Tony complained, cutting the man off.

Senior peeled one bill off and held it out to Jethro instead of his son. "I insist on buying you two a cup of coffee."

"Fifty dollars for a cup of coffee?" Tony asked.

"Buy a pastry too," Senior answered with a shrug.

"Thanks, Dad," Tony said grudgingly.

An hour later, Tony and Jethro were walking down the sidewalk, enjoying the snow tickling their noses and eyelashes. A Santa was ringing his bell nearby and the Christmas tree lot across the street was filing the block with the wonderful aroma of evergreen and pine.

"Where's that fifty bucks Dad gave you?"

Jethro dug the bill out of his pocket and handed it to Tony. Tony took it, grabbed Jethro's hand and led him up a handful of concrete steps and through the double doors at the top.

"What is this place?" Jethro asked.

"I'd like to make a donation," Tony told the woman sitting behind the welcome desk.

The woman took the folded up bill and smiled kindly at Tony. "Would you like a donation slip for your taxes, Sir?"

"It's Tony, and no, that won't be necessary. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Tony," the woman said, "and thank you."

Jethro looked back at the sign above the door as they exited and realized it was a soup kitchen. "That was nice of you," he commented offhandedly as they continued on their way.

"I can't be bought," Tony replied.

"Who's trying to buy you?"

"Nothing. It's just that... I don't know."

"Tell me."

Tony shrugged. "Taking money from Senior makes me feel like I'm letting him buy me or something. I'd rather give it to people who really need it."

Jethro nodded in understanding. "So who's Wolfgang?"

A smile spread across Tony's face. "Wolfgang Puck? He's a world class chef. He's got a couple restaurants here in the city, the kinds of restaurants you and I would have to work overtime for a month to be able to afford. It's some of the best steak and seafood around and Dad's paying so go wild. You might end up with a stomach ache from the huge ass steaks but you won't regret it."

"I'm gonna have to diet for a month after this trip," Jethro joked.

"A giant chunk of beef? Not much different than what you'd be eating if you were at home, I'm guessing."

"I'm referring more to the sugar cookies for a midnight snack and cinnamon roll waffles for breakfast," Jethro replied.

"Speaking of waffles, was the chef really gonna make regular waffles for breakfast?" Tony asked with a chuckle.

"Oh yeah. I think our secret's safe though. The housekeeper winked at me and kept her mouth shut."

Tony laughed even harder, wishing he hadn't missed the moment. "And you, of course, kept a straight face."

"Of course," Jethro answered, keeping a straight face for a moment before a hint of a smile appeared and he winked at Tony.

* * *

The steakhouse Senior had made arrangements for everyone to have dinner at did not disappoint. The five star service started as soon as they walked in the door and someone took their overcoats and continued when a waiter immediately filled their glasses with expensive wine and hard liquor.

"Thank you, Liam," Senior said. "Keep 'em coming."

"Of course, Anthony," the waiter replied kindly.

Nobody seemed to mind when the elder DiNozzo ordered everyone's meal without even giving them an opportunity to glance at the menu. Plates with oversized steaks cooked to perfection accompanied by a variety of gourmet side dishes filled the table and soon their bellies.

Dinner conversation was filled with laughter, teasing and lighthearted fun as the group carried on well into the evening. Alcohol flowed free until Senior settled the check and they made their way out front where their driver was waiting to take them home.

"I have a surprise for you guys," Senior said excitedly after they'd arrived home. "Consider it an early Christmas gift."

"You really didn't have to," Jethro said, feeling awkward about receiving a gift from Tony's father.

"I insist," Senior replied warmly. He handed professionally wrapped packages to Lynn and Tony as well and eagerly encouraged the group to open them. His smile broadened as one by one they pulled out warm, comfortable Christmas pajamas. While Jethro and Lynn thanked Senior and Patty, Tony stared at his pajamas in shock.

"Tony?" Jethro whispered worriedly.

"Huh? Oh, right. Uh, thanks, Dad, Patty," Tony stuttered.

"You guys go put those on," Senior said, oblivious to Tony's change in demeanor. "I thought we could watch some holiday specials on TV tonight."

"Oh my gosh, I haven't done this since I was a kid," Lynn said as she hurried off to change.

"Come on, Tony," Jethro said, urging the man along, "you love movies." He waited until they were in the room before questioning the man. "Alright, what'd I miss?"

"Nothing," Tony lied.

Jethro stepped out of his dress pants and tossed them onto the bed before slapping the back of Tony's head. The serious expression on his face matched the firmness of the head slap despite the fact that he was standing there in his underwear. "Don't lie to me," he said in response to the man's mutinous glare.

Tony's glared softened and he undid the top couple buttons on his dress shirt before tugging it over his head and dropping it onto the bed next to Jethro's pants. "My mom used to get me holiday pajamas every year and we'd watch _Rudolph_ and _Frosty_ and all the holiday specials together."

"Sounds like a fun tradition," Jethro commented quietly. The clue gave him a few guesses about Tony's abrupt change in demeanor but he decided not to push what was obviously a touchy topic for fear of making a bad situation worse.

"It was one of our favorites," Tony replied distractedly.

A little over an hour later, after they'd watched _Rudolph_ and _The Grinch_ , Senior offered refills on alcohol and eggnog before putting in a different DVD.

"It's not officially a holiday until we watch _Charlie Brown_ ," the man announced jovially.

Tony jerked to attention, the tension that had appeared earlier that evening still strong. He was trying really hard to be open to whatever his father was trying to accomplish by them spending Christmas together but he couldn't help but feel hurt and disrespected every time the man hijacked one of the traditions he and his mother had enjoyed so much—one of the traditions he'd refused to have any part of when Tony was a young boy. It almost felt like his father had tricked him into coming for a visit and now he was trapped there with no way to escape.

Escape.

He had to get out of there.

He stood from his spot in the chair and a half next to Jethro and looked around at the group frantically before announcing he had to go and hurrying off towards the room.

"Is it something I said?" Senior asked, truly confused.

"I don't know," Jethro answered, just as confused. "Go ahead and start the movie. I'll go talk to him."

When Jethro opened the door to the room they were sharing, he found Tony sloppily cramming his clothes into his duffle bag.

"Coming here was a mistake," Tony said abruptly.

Jethro sat down on the bed and watched patiently. "Why?" he asked.

Tony tried to pinpoint a reason but he quickly figured out he couldn't. The whole situation was overwhelming and he couldn't even begin to put it into words.

"Talk to me, Tony," Jethro pleaded. "I've given you your space. I haven't asked you in front of your family but I'm asking you now. Please, tell me what's got you so upset."

"It's not officially a holiday until we watch _Charlie Brown_ ," Tony said. "My mom used to say that every holiday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day, Christmas but my dad would never watch with us. I-I just, I don't wanna be here anymore."

"I get it, Tony," Jethro said calmly, watching as Tony continued to pack. "You spend a lifetime running from these feelings and memories but they always manage to find a way to sneak up on you."

"They never snuck up on me in DC."

"Maybe they're sneaking up on your dad too," Jethro suggested. "Maybe he needs you right now and that's why he reached out. You should talk to him."

"He won't talk to me," Tony scoffed.

"Have you ever asked?"

Tony shrugged in response and Jethro got up and left the room without a word, heading back out to the living room.

"He okay?" Senior asked.

"You should go talk to him," Jethro said.

Senior nodded nervously at Jethro then smiled at his wife before standing and heading towards the room Tony was in. He knocked before entering and found Tony attempting to close his sloppily packed bag.

"What's going on, Son?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Tony snapped.

"Have I done something to upset you?" Senior asked curiously.

"What're you doing, Dad?" Tony demanded. He couldn't hold it in any longer.

"What do you mean?" Senior sounded oblivious and the most frustrating part of the whole situation was Tony knew he probably was, which only made him angrier.

"All this! The Christmas pajamas, Santaland, window shopping, 'it's not a holiday until you watch Charlie Brown,' the pajamas and holiday specials on TV, _everything_!" The anger left Tony's voice as he continued and was replaced by honest confusion and a profound sense of sadness. "Everything Mom and I used to do together. You never took an interest back then. Why now?"

"I know how important your mother was to you, Son," Senior said quietly. "I was just trying to keep her memory alive."

"But why now?" Tony asked again. "Why the sudden interest? Why not when I was eight? Nine? Ten?"

Senior squirmed a little but thought better than lying to his son. "I see how Patty is with Lynn, the bond they share, the closeness they have and it makes me realize how distant you and I are. I realize it may be too little, too late after all this time but I was hoping a visit might help close some of the gap at least."

"By doing all the things Mom and I used to do when I was a kid?" Tony asked.

Senior lifted his hands and shrugged his shoulders innocently. "You loved her so much," he explained. "You two were always off doing your own thing, always having fun."

"And you were always working," Tony countered but there was no bite to his voice. He was simply stating a fact. "We wanted you with us. We _begged_ you, Dad."

"I know," Senior said regretfully, "I remember." He looked up and their eyes met, his glistening with unshed tears. "It's one of my biggest regrets, Anthony. I guess this is just my pathetic attempt to try to make it up to you. I'd like a closer relationship with you. I realize it's going to take time and I have a lot of making up to do but, well, I just hope it's not too late."

Tony stared deep into his father's eyes and was surprised by the man's honesty. "I-I know you did your best, Dad," he said, unsure about what to say.

"You don't have to make excuses for me anymore," Senior replied firmly. "I blew it with you."

"So, that's what all this is about? The invitation to spend Christmas with you and all the holiday stuff?"

"I didn't know where to start," Senior admitted. "I remember how much you and your mother enjoyed the holiday season so I figured I'd start there."

Tony nodded, quietly taking everything in. "I haven't really enjoyed it much since Mom…" He stopped short, unable to finish the sentence.

"Maybe it's time we try to change that. Will you stay, Junior?" Senior asked. "I'm really enjoying having you and Jethro here. Maybe we can start over. I'd like to build some memories with you and Jethro before you head back to DC and Lynn before she heads back to Connecticut."

Tony plopped down onto the bed and thought it over for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, Dad, we'll stay but I don't think I'm up for Charlie Brown tonight. I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize. I'm just happy to get more time with you. I'll send Jethro back up."

"Thanks, Dad. Hey, Dad," Tony called just before the man reached the door. Senior turned and raised his eyebrows at his son. "I'd like a closer relationship with you too."

A few minutes later Jethro was back in the room and pleased to see Tony stretched out in the bed and looking a lot more relaxed than he had the last time Jethro had seen him. "Better?"

"I think I'm getting it all figured out," Tony answered.

"You sure you don't wanna watch more Christmas movies with everyone?"

"I think I've had just about enough for tonight," Tony answered, "but don't worry. I'll be a real party animal tomorrow to make up for it."

"Oh, I'm not worried," Jethro teased, stretching out in bed next to Tony.

"You can watch TV with the others if you want," Tony said. "You don't have to lay around in here with me just because I'm all moody."

"I like it when you're moody and I've had just about enough kiddie Christmas movies."

Tony grinned when he realized Jethro had sat through over an hour of Christmas specials normally for children. "Thanks for doing this with me. You've put up with a lot already and I'm sure there's more to come."

"I can't have you coming back from vacation all messed up in the head."

"Whatever," Tony teased playfully. "You're having a good time, you just won't admit it."

"Steak, alcohol, coffee, what's not to love?"

"And you couldn't ask for better company," Tony mentioned.

Jethro glanced over at Tony and a shared moment of seriousness passed between them. Things were changing, that was undeniable. What had started out as an undercover relationship was turning all too real as he connected with Tony on a whole new level and got to know the man in a whole new light.

"You feel it too, don't you?" Tony whispered.

"I feel something," Jethro admitted just as quietly.

* * *

"You can't buy a Christmas tree from a dealer on a street corner," Jethro stated plainly.

"This is New York City," Tony replied with a chuckle, "you can buy just about anything you want from a dealer on a street corner."

Jethro couldn't hold his grin at Tony's joke but his foot shot up and connected with Tony's ass to make up for it.

"Remember when we used to cut down our own tree at a tree farm, Mom?" Lynn asked, the fond memory making her eyes sparkle.

"That was a long time ago," Patty said, a soft smile on her face.

"Well, I've never gone to a real tree farm and cut down my own tree," Senior admitted, "and since it seems to be the consensus of the group and you're never too old to try something new, if Jethro's willing to put up with us, I vote we go to a tree farm instead of a street vendor."

"You won't regret it," Jethro said happily. He'd been holding his own embracing the city life and everything the others were excited about him experiencing but a tree farm was more up his alley and he was happy for an opportunity to share a special experience with them too.

After breakfast had been eaten and Tony had borrowed a pair of Jethro's long underwear, Lynn had Googled a tree farm and Senior had talked the owner of the farm into letting them borrow a pickup truck, Jethro was driving the group around the back part of the lot where the trees hadn't been quite so picked over. Senior and Patty were riding in the cab with him while Tony and Lynn enjoyed the fresh air in the bed of the truck as they searched for the perfect Christmas tree.

Jethro pulled the truck over and the group wandered around on foot, eyeing a few potentials while ignoring other trees completely until one tree seemed to draw them all together at once.

"Is this it?" Senior asked.

"I think it is," Lynn answered.

"Will it fit though?" Patty asked. "It looks really tall."

"How tall are your ceilings?" Jethro asked but the look on Senior's face told him the man didn't have a clue how tall his ceilings were so he decided to try something else. "Lynn, hop on Tony's shoulders."

Tony and Lynn looked at each other and then shot Jethro a skeptical look but he just rolled his eyes at them.

"Tony won't let you fall, Lynn," Jethro assured her. "Come on."

The two shared one more look before Tony squatted down and Jethro helped Lynn get settled on his shoulders. Tony stood and Jethro stood back and compared their height to the height of the tree.

"Oh yeah," he said confidently, "this one'll fit perfectly."

"It is beautiful," Patty said.

"Are we all agreed?" Tony asked, carefully squatting down so Lynn could get off of his shoulders.

"I think we are," Senior said.

"In that case," Jethro held the saw out towards Senior, "let's cut her down."

"Me?" Senior asked in surprise.

"Yep," Jethro answered. "It's part of the experience." He slipped his jacket off and laid it on the ground then lifted the bottom branches out of the way. "Get on under there."

"Careful, Honey," Patty said.

"I know what I'm doing," Senior lied before their eyes met and he realized his wife could see right through him. "How hard could it be?" he asked instead. "Besides, Jethro's standing right here. He's not gonna let anything happen to me. Right, Jethro?"

"Just cut the tree down, Dad," Tony piped in.

Two hours later, the Christmas tree was in the stand in the living room of the DiNozzo residence and Jethro and Tony were standing in their long underwear, in front of the electric fireplace in their bedroom.

"That is the last time we ever let Dad cut down the Christmas tree," Tony grumbled through chattering teeth.

"It was an accident, Tony," Jethro replied with a chuckle.

"The tree fell on me," Tony exclaimed. "He was under the tree, cutting it down but did it fall on him? No. It fell on me!"

The laugh coming out of Jethro's mouth came from deep inside his belly. "Relax, Tony. It happens."

"Yes, it does, and now I'm soaked to the bone and freezing my you know what's off."

"Well we can't have that," Jethro said with a playful seriousness as he glanced down the front of Tony's body.

"There ain't nothing to see here," Tony informed the man when he noticed where he was looking. "He's cold so he's hiding."

Unsure about how to respond to that or the fact that he'd been so blatantly obvious about peeking that Tony had caught him, Jethro stepped away from the fire and started dressing himself in clean, dry clothes. "You gonna help decorate the tree?"

"If I ever warm up."

Jethro tossed Tony's jeans at him and hit the man in the back. "Get dressed," he said. "You'll warm up when you get moving."

"Yes, Boss," Tony joked, adding a mock salute. Seconds later his waded up shirt nailed him in the back of the head in lieu of Jethro's hand and put a smile on Tony's face.

* * *

It usually took weeks of undercover work before Tony had to start reminding himself what was real and what was just necessary for the op but it had only been a matter of days and the lines were getting blurry. He wasn't sure when it had happened or how but the feelings he'd been faking in front of his family were turning all too real and it wasn't just because he was sitting in Jethro's lap, wearing nothing more than the Christmas pajamas his father had given him the night before, watching _It's A Wonderful Life_. No. That wasn't it at all.

"You want more popcorn?" Tony asked quietly.

"Nah," Jethro answered just as quietly.

Tony shifted slightly, resettling and getting comfortable again and Jethro wrapped his arms around the man's waist, holding him still. Tony straightened the blanket over them and sighed contentedly in the mostly dark room.

"Comfortable?" Jethro whispered.

"Mmm," Tony hummed.

A genuine smile spread across Jethro's face at the undeniably honest moan and he held Tony just a little tighter, accidentally bumping against the hard flesh protruding from the man's lap. Tony grabbed for Jethro's hand almost as quickly as Jethro tried to pull it away, both of them startled by the realization of what was happening. No words were whispered in the darkness of the room but the scenes playing out on the large TV mounted over the fireplace was the last thing on their minds.

"I think I could go for another drink," Senior said. "Would anyone else like anything?"

"Bourbon," Jethro and Tony answered a little too quickly and both in unison.

"I wouldn't mind a little more wine, Sweetie," Patty said.

"More wine sounds good," Lynn agreed. "I'll help you."

Nervous energy had Jethro and Tony downing more bourbon than should have and certainly more bourbon that they were used to. By the time the movie ended, they were doing their best to help each other up to their room without stumbling backwards down the stairs. Fits of giggles over silly, insignificant things proved just how drunk the two were as they attempted to get their teeth brushed and find their way into bed.

"Hey, Gibbs, is there any chance we could just forget about NCIS and rules and being mature, smart, responsible adults for the evening?" Tony asked in the darkness.

"Why?" Jethro asked suspiciously.

"'cause I'm horny as fuck after sitting on your lap all night and I'd really like nothing more than for you to fuck me into the mattress," Tony answered bluntly. "Besides, I think it's about time we give Lynn that show she's been waiting for."

Jethro was glad the lights had already been turned off and Tony couldn't see how red his face had instantly gotten. They were both well aware of Tony's boner but the last thing Jethro had expected was for Tony to draw more attention to it or even ask for help with it.

"Or, you know, you're probably not into guys and you're a lot more sober than I am," Tony back peddled. "Feel free to head slap me or whatever punishment you see fit and then I'll go sleep on the couch after everyone else goes to bed."

"Somehow, I think you'd enjoy a head slap too much," Jethro replied in amusement. A million thoughts raced through his mind as he processed the request and despite knowing what he should have said, he couldn't quite get the word out of his mouth. "This is stupid, Tony," he said instead, his tone clearly telling Tony he was caving to his request.

"This is nothing more than drunk us doing what sober us is too afraid to," Tony replied.

"You have lube?" Jethro asked.

"Shit!" Tony cursed. "Oh, wait!" He was out of bed in a flash and dumping the contents of his sloppily packed duffle bag all over their floor.

Jethro turned the lamp on the nightstand on and sat up on his elbows to watch the man. It wasn't long before Tony stood up straight, proudly producing a tube of lube.

"Always be prepared," Tony said. "You should make that an official Gibbs rule."

Jethro chuckled as he caught the lube Tony had tossed in his direction, purposefully not thinking about what trip it had been left in Tony's bag from.

Tony made his way back over to the bed and crawled up Jethro's body, smiling as he hovered mere inches over him. "Fuck me," he requested again, his voice quiet and rough at the same time.

Jethro flipped them over so he was on top and started kissing Tony's face and neck as he pushed the man's shirt up his torso. He ground his hips against Tony's, letting their excitement grow once again.

Tony slipped his hands beneath the hem of Jethro's shirt, resting them against bare skin as he threw his head back and moaned and writhed at the feeling of Jethro's lips hungrily exploring his body.

"Fuck yeah," Tony growled, moving his hands from Jethro's sides to the man's ass. He arched his back, pushing his hips up and putting more pressure on his trapped dick as Jethro's mouth latched onto one of his nipples.

As their excitement grew, so did the noises coming from their room but neither of them gave a second thought to the fact that they weren't alone in the house. Their brains were clouded enough with alcohol that the only thing they could focus on was their need.

Jethro frantically pushed Tony's flannel pajama pants down his long legs, letting Tony kick them off while he yanked his down and removed them. Lubed fingers wrapped around dicks, jerking and tugging and not being very tender about it. Care was taken when Jethro stretched Tony's body but the patience was gone by the time he settled on his knees between Tony's legs.

"Condom?" Jethro asked.

"I'm good if you're good but if you want one I have one in my wallet."

Jethro answered by rubbing his cockhead against Tony's entrance, waiting until the tension left Tony's body and the man relaxed before easing all the way in with one slow, steady push.

"Fuck me," Tony begged pathetically, fisting his dick and pumping it hard to maintain his erection. "Fuck me, Jethro."

Jethro's mind and body warred between enjoying a quick, satisfying fuck before passing out and taking his time drawing out the pleasure before reaching a well-earned climax. He wanted both and the alcohol was making his head just foggy enough that he couldn't seem to choose.

Tony squeezed his balls tightly as he jerked hard on his dick. Loud moans that he couldn't have stopped even if he wanted to filled the room. Moans of inexplicable pleasure grew louder as Jethro picked up the pace, ramming Tony's ass with such force his entire body was moving back and forth but even that didn't seem to be enough.

"Harder," Tony begged.

"Lift your legs more," Jethro ordered breathlessly.

Tony's response was immediate and Jethro leaned over farther, planting both hands on the bed on either side of Tony with the man's knees wrapped around his elbows, preventing Tony from lowering his legs.

"Fuck!" Tony moaned even louder while Jethro continued ravaging his body. Both men were too drunk to realize they were giving Lynn something to talk about at the breakfast table the following day.

Barely controlled breaths turned to harsh panting as frantic movements replaced carefully measured ones. Tony jutted his hips up as much as he could, rubbing his dick hard against the firm planes peppered with coarse hairs on Jethro's belly until he couldn't take it anymore and started stroking desperately.

"Holy fuck, Jethro! So close. I'm so fucking close."

Sweat dripped from Jethro's forehead onto Tony. His breath caught momentarily before he released it with a harsh curse followed by Tony's name. Long, quick jabs turned to short jerks and ended with the man rutting against Tony while Tony fisted the sheets tightly and rubbed out the last of his climax on his lover's body.

Heavy breathing slowed and after a short amount of time their movements stopped completely as exhaustion quickly took over. The buzz from the alcohol was beginning to wear off and sleep was the only thing on their minds.

"We should get drunk and fuck more often," Tony muttered beneath Jethro's weight. "Have you ever done that before? Have sex with a dude, I mean."

"Maybe," Jethro answered cryptically. "Have you?"

"Maybe," Tony mimicked, the humor in his voice giving him away.

Jethro let himself slip out of Tony's body so he could roll off of him. "I know we should get cleaned up but I really don't wanna move."

"Me neither," Tony mumbled. He rolled over and grabbed his pajama pants off the floor, wiped himself up the best he could then cleaned Jethro up before tossing them onto the floor again to deal with in the morning.

Jethro urged Tony onto his side then rolled over and spooned himself against the man's back. After his hands explored Tony's body a little more, he flattened one out over Tony's heart and the other just above the man's pubic bone and they both drifted off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part III**

Cold.

That was the first thing Tony noticed as he started to wake. It was unusually cold in the room, or maybe just the bed. He wasn't sure. The second thing he noticed was how sore his body was. He ached with a familiar ache that usually brought back pleasant memories. He had a little bit of a hangover going and he was struggling to fight through the haze that the drinks the night before had gifted him but thankfully everything wasn't a total blue. Or maybe not so thankfully.

He'd had sex the night before. He felt it first and then he remembered it. He'd gotten wasted and had drunken sex with his boss and now, since they were both still at his father's house, he had to go downstairs and celebrate Christmas with the man. He had to face Leroy Jethro Gibbs after begging to be fucked into the mattress the night before. Tony wasn't sure if it was that or the alcohol that making him sick to his stomach.

Fuck.

Tony laid perfectly still in the bed, listening for Jethro beside him. Several seconds passed and he didn't hear the man but he was too afraid to open his eyes and see for himself. He didn't want Jethro to know he was awake, at least not until he had time to figure out what the hell to do about what they'd done the previous night.

Fuck!

A sharp pounding on the bedroom door put an end to Tony's game. He startled in such a way that there was no possibility of feigning sleep but when he opened his eyes, he realized the bed next to him was empty. Jethro wasn't there.

"Anthony," Senior bellowed from the other side of the door, "it's time to get up, Son. Everyone's waiting on you."

Tony opened his mouth to respond but before he could, he could hear his father's heavy footsteps getting farther and farther away. Apparently the impatience Tony had experienced in his childhood hadn't yet been completely worked out of Senior's system, despite all the other changes the man seemed to have made.

He sat up in bed and rubbed tiredly at his eyes before once again looking at the empty spot in the bed next to him. That explained why he was cold. There was no Jethro radiating body heat next to him. Why wasn't Jethro next to him? Had he simply gotten tired of waiting for Tony to wake and gone downstairs without him? Was he disgusted by what they'd done the night before? Ashamed and not interested in facing Tony?

Fuck!

Tony's chest ached with regret. He adored Gibbs and couldn't bear the thought of losing the man. It would kill him if things grew awkward to the point of it being uncomfortable to hang out. He was beginning to understand the reason for rule 12 and he'd never hated himself more for breaking a rule.

"I am never drinking again," he muttered to himself. " _Never._ " And that wasn't the same declaration every hungover person made when they woke up feeling miserable. No. He was serious.

He rolled out of bed, mentally scolding himself as he did, and headed for the bathroom. After a quick shower and shave, he dressed himself and cautiously made his way downstairs. He could hear talking and laughter coming from the dining room and looked longingly at the front door, wishing he could run through it and never come back again. He was good at running; at avoiding his problems at any cost. It was an art he'd mastered long ago.

"Hey," Jethro said. His voice was gentle but it startled Tony enough he visibly jumped. "You coming? What's wrong?"

Tony opened his mouth as answer after answer filtered through his brain. He finally settled on, "Yeah, just… looks like it snowed last night. I was taking a second to enjoy the view."

Jethro watched worriedly as Tony ducked his head and hurried past him towards the dining room. He knew Tony well enough to know something was wrong. He also knew the man well enough to know he'd get nowhere if he confronted him right then.

Tony plopped himself down in the chair at the table that had unofficially been his for the past few days and thought back to the night before as Jethro took his place next to him and his father and stepmother continued talking about whatever they were talking about. His thoughts were quickly distracted by the set of eyes on him though and when he looked up, he found Lynn watching him with a knowing expression on her face and if that didn't give her away, she wiggled her eyebrows teasingly at him.

Tony deflated slightly as he realized, once again, that it was impossible to have a private moment when there were other people in the house. Lynn knew. Of course she knew. "What?" he demanded when she wouldn't stop grinning at him.

"Nothing," Lynn replied innocently. "Somebody just had a late night last night, that's all."

Tony reminded himself to keep his cool and not panic, even though he was sure his face had turned the darkest shade of red it had ever been. "Don't start," he grumbled uncomfortably.

"Too much to drink last night?" Lynn's tone turned sympathetic when she realized Tony wasn't in the mood to be teased.

"I'm never drinking again," Tony muttered.

Tony's breakfast was delivered with a full glass of water and a couple pills to help with his hangover. He wished there was something he could take to help with the shame and embarrassment he felt and to maybe fix all the damage that had been done to his relationship with Jethro. The man probably hated him for dragging him into this mess to begin with. If it weren't for him, Jethro would be at home with his boat and bourbon in his basement, not off kissing and fucking and pretending to be lovers for a family that could only be described as distant, at best.

And what parts of what they were doing was simply pretending? Was any of it real? Would things just go back to normal when they returned to DC? _Could_ things just go back to normal after all the lines they'd crossed?

A hand on Tony's shoulder startled him. He looked up to find Jethro watching him with those concerned, blue eyes that felt like they penetrated all the way to his soul but thankfully the man just smiled softly at him without saying anything.

"Eat up, everyone," Senior said joyfully, "then we can open gifts."

The lights on the tree and in the living room sparkled and soft, holiday jazz played in the background. The electric fireplace flickered and fragrant candles were lit, offering a little extra warmth and ambience as everyone gathered around and opened gifts.

Despite all the oohing and ahhing as wrapping paper was removed from packages, Jethro's attention was far from the holiday festivities. For the first time in he couldn't even remember how long, he'd awakened feeling whole and satisfied in a way he hadn't since he'd lost his girls but his excitement was tamped down by the distraught look on Tony's face.

His made up excuses to reach out and touch seemed to go unnoticed by Tony and the distant, distracted look on the man's face told Jethro they desperately needed to have a conversation but sneaking off on Christmas morning was unlikely and Jethro didn't want Tony to have any excuse to cut the conversation short. He needed time to peel back the protective outer layers and dig into what was really going on in his partner's head.

If Senior, Patty and Lynn noticed the change in their house guests' demeanor, none of them said anything. They carried on with the festivities, giving and receiving gifts and showing genuine gratitude for each one. The look of concern on Jethro's face and avoidance on Tony's went unmentioned as morning dragged into afternoon and Christmas dinner was enjoyed. Naptime gave way to dinner and before any of them knew it, it was bedtime.

"I'm gonna grab a shower tonight since we have to be outta here early tomorrow morning," Jethro said once they were alone in their room. He needed a chance to clear his head and figure out how to approach Tony and he wanted to give Tony an opportunity to get settled.

"Okay," Tony said, grateful for the opportunity to get in bed and feign sleep. He was willing to do anything to avoid the awkward conversation he knew was coming. He really couldn't bear to hear how he'd been a mistake and they'd be better off forgetting about it or, possibly, something worse.

As soon as the water in the shower came on, there was a knock on their bedroom door. Tony grumbled as he hurried towards the door, anxious to get rid of whoever it was and fall asleep before Jethro got out of the shower.

"Dad," he said in surprise when he opened the door.

"We need to talk," Senior said, not waiting for an invitation before he stepped past his son, into the room. "Where's Jethro?"

"Shower," Tony answered, confused about what was happening. "Dad, I—"

"What's wrong, Son?" Senior interrupted. "I know we had a few bumps in the road but I thought we'd gotten past that. We've been having so much fun. I think you've had a good vacation but you seem different today. Is everything okay?"

"What're you talking about?" Tony asked with a dismissive laugh.

"Oh, please," Senior scoffed lovingly. "I may not have always known what to do with you but I've never been as oblivious as you thought I was. Now come on, Son. Talk to me. What's bothering you?"

The smile faded from Tony's face and he dropped his head into his hands and hunched his shoulders defensively. His dad sure picked a fine time to take more of an interest in his life but maybe it would be nice to have someone to talk to. "I think I screwed everything up, Dad," he said, his voice holding the shame he felt.

"How so?"

Tony sat quietly as the pressure built behind his eyes and his nerves made the ache in his stomach grow. "Jethro's not my boyfriend," he admitted quietly.

Senior's jovial laugh had Tony's head jerking up with an angry glare focused solely on the man. "I'm sorry, Anthony. It's just that, I knew that the moment you two showed up on my doorstep and you called him by his surname."

"You did?"

Senior nodded, still smiling kindly at his son. "Why'd you lie? And why keep up the charade, Son?"

"Well, I lied to get out of spending Christmas with you and I kept it up because…" he paused and thought it over for a moment. "Actually, I don't know why I kept it up."

"I think you kept it up because part of you wanted it to be true," Senior suggested.

"It was fun," Tony agreed, "even if it was fake."

"I'm not so sure it was fake, Junior. Never in a million years would I agree to be Gregory's gay lover, pretend or not, and he's my best friend."

Tony's eyes wandered the room, giving the words a chance to sink in. "I think somewhere along the way it turned real for me," he confessed, "but I'm not sure that's the case with Jethro. It doesn't matter though. I'm pretty sure the whole thing got completely screwed up last night."

"I don't think it's possible to screw up something like that in one night. Especially when you're drunk."

"How'd you?"

"Know you were drunk? It was pretty obvious but Jethro was drunk too so whatever happened probably isn't as bad as you think it is."

"I'm not so sure about that, Dad." He refused to tell the man they'd had sex but he was pretty sure sex made things as bad as he thought they were. There was no going back from it, no undoing it.

Senior patted his son's thigh before standing. "Just talk to him, Anthony," he said with a smile before turning and leaving Tony alone again.

"If only it was that easy," Tony whispered to himself.

The sound of the shower shutting off had him moving at warp speed. He quickly changed into his pajamas and did a Superman dive into the bed as the bathroom door opened and Jethro appeared.

Jethro watched with raised eyebrows as Tony got settled then packed the clothes he'd just taken off in his duffle and crawled into bed next to Tony.

"Well, good night," Tony said.

"You okay?" Jethro asked.

Tony hated the genuine concern in his boss's voice. He didn't feel worthy of it, not after he'd screwed up so spectacularly the night before. "Yeah, 'm fine."

Jethro had watched all day as Tony's distress had grown. He'd given him his space, biding his time until they were alone and could talk in private but Tony was still closed off. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No," Tony answered quickly, "please no."

"Tony, I—"

"I just wanna go to bed. Please, Gibbs?"

Jethro's heart dropped at hearing Tony call him Gibbs again. After a week of being called Jethro, Gibbs somehow seemed cold and impersonal. He reached out and gave Tony's shoulder a little squeeze, wanting to maintain the contact but he was unsure if it would be accepted so he pulled back instead, turned the lamp on the bedside table off and settled in for the night.

* * *

It had been a week since Christmas. A week since Jethro and Tony had arrived back in DC. A week of work.

It had been a week of awkwardness.

It had been a week and Jethro couldn't take it any longer. Tony wouldn't look at him, wouldn't talk to him, wouldn't even be still and quiet and listen while he talked. The man was actually avoiding him and Jethro had had enough.

A little after midnight on New Year's Day, Jethro was finally able to put his role as senior supervisory agent to bed and leave the Navy Yard. He'd sent his team home nearly an hour earlier then finished going over his team's case reports while much of the rest of the world had just rung in the New Year with the partiers in New York's Times Square.

With his work responsibilities out of the way, he was on a mission and nothing was going to stop him. He was on his way to Tony's place and they _were_ going to talk. He refused to lose Tony over a drunken decision—whether it was a mistake or not.

After a short drive across town, Jethro parked next to Tony's car and made his way up to the man's dark apartment. He knew Tony was home. His car was in the parking lot and he'd heard him turn down his teammates' invitation to go out for a drink in favor of heading home and hitting the sack early but Jethro didn't care about Tony's bedtime. His patience had run out. He was done waiting.

He knocked on the door and wasn't surprised when he got no response. With the key Tony had given him long ago already at the ready, he unlocked the door and stepped inside. He kicked his shoes off by the door and draped his overcoat over one of the kitchen chairs before carefully navigating the dark apartment to Tony's room.

"Tony," he said from his spot in the doorway, "we need to talk."

"I don't wanna talk," Tony replied quietly.

"Why? What're you afraid of?" Jethro could hear him rustling around in the bed and when Tony spoke again, he realized the man had turned away from him.

"Losing you," Tony answered even quieter.

Jethro didn't move for a moment as Tony's words repeated in his head. The fear in the other man's voice really struck him and Jethro instantly regretted not seeking Tony out sooner. He'd assumed Tony had regretted Christmas Eve and had been coping by avoiding him but judging by everything he was seeing and hearing, that wasn't the case at all.

He pushed himself off the door frame and tugged his polo and undershirt over his head before undoing his belt and letting his pants fall to the floor. Without any explanation at all, he walked over to the bed, lifted the blankets and slipped in behind Tony.

"What're you doing?" Tony asked.

"I told you," Jethro answered, "we need to talk." He reached out and rested his hand on Tony's arm, needing that physical connection.

"I'm sorry I asked you to go to New York with me," Tony said, soaking up the affection for what he knew might be the last time.

"Why?" Jethro asked.

Tony half shrugged. "I dunno. I just wasn't expecting everything to go down like it did. I guess I didn't think things through before I asked you to pretend to be my boyfriend."

"Do you regret anything that happened or just inviting me?" Jethro asked curiously.

"Just getting you all caught up in my dysfunctional family drama."

Jethro's touch turned into a cautious embrace and he was rewarded by Tony practically melting into his arms. "I don't regret any of it, Tony," he said quietly. "Let that sink in for a minute."

Tony stiffened when he realized Jethro was including their night of drunken sex in his statement but let himself relax as the man's words repeated in his head. "Um, do you remember _everything_ that happened? Like, even on Christmas Eve?"

"If you're referring to both of us getting drunk, you begging me to fuck you into the mattress and me obliging, then yes, Tony, I do," Jethro answered bluntly.

Tony rolled in Jethro's arms, turning to face the man. The stomach ache he'd had for the past week was finally starting to ease and the stress was beginning to fade. "And you don't regret it?"

"Only the alcohol," Jethro answered, "although without that, nothing else might've happened and that would've been a shame."

"Might not've been the alcohol," Tony joked. "It could've been a result of us being deep undercover for too long or maybe you finally just succumbed to my irresistible charm. It's my superpower, you know. It renders people helpless."

Jethro was surprised by how quickly Tony was back to his old self. After a week of worrying about the man, he never would've known something was wrong if he hadn't been there to witness it. "Are you aiming for a head slap?"

"I'd rather have a kiss," Tony whispered.

"No," Jethro replied just as softly. "I don't kiss unless it's for real."

"Are you saying this isn't real?"

"No, that's not what I said at all. I don't know what this is because you won't talk to me. You want a onetime romp? That's fine. We'll forget this ever happened and put it behind us. You want more? We'll explore more but you gotta talk to me or I don't have a clue what you want."

Tony laughed out loud at the statement, interrupting the serious mood Jethro had set. "Sorry but I'm _never_ going to forget one single detail of the week you and I pretended to be a couple. Hey, maybe next year we can go to your dad's for Christmas and pretend to be a couple for him!"

Jethro couldn't help but chuckle at the thought of it, despite knowing that pulling that stunt on his father would have very different results than it had had on Tony's father.

Tony's laughter faded and mood instantly turned serious again. "Or we can go to Stillwater and do it for real. No more pretending because I'll always want your kisses, Jethro, and I think you already know I'm addicted to your touch. I know we were both drunk that night but I remember every detail—at least I think I do—and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since. I haven't been able to stop thinking about _you_. I've missed you."

"You've seen me every day," Jethro pointed out.

"It's different. You were always there in New York. We may have been pretending but it felt real to me. Having this support system, someone to take care of and to take care of me."

"I didn't need taking care of," Jethro protested teasingly.

"I get it now," Tony said. "I understand why people commit; why they share their whole self with someone else. I want that with you, Jethro."

"Alright," Jethro said. "That's all I needed to hear. Wasn't so hard, was it? No need to torture yourself over it for an entire week."

"I didn't wanna say goodbye," Tony whispered. "Better to not know than to risk losing you."

"I get that," Jethro said.

Tony rolled onto his back, finally finding the courage to look up into Jethro's eyes. "So it's settled then," he replied comfortably.

Jethro smiled back at the man as his fingers explored the coarse hairs on Tony's chest. "It's settled," he agreed.

"That feels nice," Tony said, making himself even more comfortable.

"You like that?"

"I might."

"Do you want more?"

"I might. Kiss me," Tony requested a second time.

Jethro's smile matched Tony's as he studied the man's expression for a moment before scooting closer, closing his eyes and allowing his lips to find Tony's. Several brief pecks were finished up with a longer one before he pulled back and opened his eyes once again.

Tony's tongue peeked out in search of any of Jethro's taste that might still be lingering on his lips as he watched the man to see what he was going to do next. He brought a single finger up and gently grazed it across the soft lips that had just been on his before leaning forward and initiating another kiss. This time, when he opened his mouth, Jethro's tongue immediately found its way in.

After tasting and exploring, Jethro pressed another quick kiss to Tony's lips before pulling back once again. His eyes, soft from the gentle moonlight lit up the genuine smile on his face. Openness and honesty were written all over his expression and it made Tony's heart flutter. He and Jethro had been through quite a bit over the years. He knew the man better than most people but the man sharing the bed with him was completely exposed and it had nothing to do with him being nearly naked beneath the blankets.

"This is—this is… this is big," Tony whispered. Something was changing. Something was shifting deep inside of him and he couldn't even begin to explain it. He pulled his hips back slightly, moving his erection just far enough away that Jethro wouldn't accidentally bump it.

"Where ya goin'?" Jethro asked.

"Nowhere," Tony answered. "Just trying to get comfortable."

Jethro softened his voice even more and his words shouldn't have surprised Tony but they did. "You're hiding. I don't like it when you hide from me." His hand found Tony's hip and he urged the man forward again, waiting for Tony to get settled back where he'd been moments before.

A shiver tore through Tony's body as the intensity of the situation overwhelmed him. He couldn't break eye contact with Jethro even though he was drowning in the man's gaze. "This is… I feel…" He shook his head in frustration, struggling to get a coherent thought out.

"Tell me."

"I don't know," Tony whispered. "I've never felt like this before. I can't explain it. I want to but…" His words trailed off again and Jethro could see his frustration growing.

"Not everything can be put into words, Tony," he said brushing his fingers lightly down the side of the man's face.

"I'm scared I'm gonna screw it up like I always do," Tony said quietly. "I don't wanna lost you, Gibbs. I _can't_ lose you."

"Am I worth the risk?" Jethro asked simply.

"Yes," Tony answered with no hesitation at all.

Jethro leaned closer again, his smile growing slightly and whispered, "I know you, Tony. You can't scare me off. You're not gonna lose me." He finished the statement off with another kiss, as if to seal the words.

The feeling in Tony's chest grew and spread. Jethro opened his mouth into the kiss and let Tony have his turn tasting and exploring and Tony took full advantage.

Words turned to actions and what little clothing they were still wearing soon disappeared. Their bodies were joined and soon doing a familiar dance they'd done once before and hoped to do countless times in the future.

Tony hovered above Jethro, rocking back and forth on his length. Despite being drunk the first time they'd been in a similar position, he still remembered Jethro's cock moving in and out of his body, his body wrapped around it like a perfectly fitted glove—he would _never_ forget that feeling, sober or drunk.

"Fuck, Jethro," he groaned.

Jethro let his legs fall open, allowing Tony to rock all the way down his length and seat himself firmly in his lap. In turn, Tony's eyes rolled back as his head fell back and his mouth opened in a loud groan. Rocking turned to rutting in Tony's desperate attempt to not lose the tingling sensation building at the base of his spine and spreading from the core of his body.

"Play with me," Tony begged.

Jethro blindly grabbed for Tony's dick and found it jutting up between their bodies, pulsing and leaking in excitement.

"Play with me," Tony begged again when Jethro didn't move fast enough for his liking.

Jethro wrapped his fist around Tony's cock and worked him over, cautious of the man's rocking and grinding hips.

"I need you," Tony whimpered. "Fuck, I need you, Jethro."

"You've got me," Jethro told the man. "Ride me. Use me. Take what you need from me."

As if he'd been given permission, Tony's movements became even more determined. He opened his legs as wide as he could in his current position and rubbed himself hard against Jethro's body.

"If you keep doing that, I'm not gonna last," Jethro warned.

"Cum," Tony said simply.

Jethro's hands moved from Tony's most delicate parts to the tops of his thighs. He pushed against them, using them as leverage as he moved himself against Tony at a rapid pace. Tony clenched around him, ignoring his own need in favor of bringing his lover off and in no time at all, he saw the telltale signs and felt the familiar movements that he would never forget for as long as he lived.

With Jethro's cock still putting just the right amount of pressure against his prostate, Tony fisted himself and pumped hard until he was rewarded tingles that warmed and spread throughout his entire body as he spurted lines across his lover's chest. Before he even had a chance to catch his breath, Jethro was tugging him down and taking his mouth in one demanding kiss after another.

"Fuck, Jethro," Tony panted when he finally got the chance. "I can't breathe."

Jethro gently tugged on Tony's lip and nipped at the underside of his jaw. "But you taste so good," he mumbled between nips. He rolled his hips, pushing harder against Tony's body. "And you feel so good."

"Fuck," Tony hissed, grinding back against Jethro.

The two finally settled when the sensitivity became too much and Jethro tugged Tony down against him and let himself slip out. Tony scooted around until he got comfortable then nestled in deeper and even purred when Jethro tugged him closer.

"I never wanna go to sleep," Tony muttered, "never want this moment to be over."

Jethro could hear the exhaustion tugging at Tony's words and doubted the man had gotten much sleep over the past week. A smile spread across his face as he wiped his belly and chest off with the corner of the sheet before cleaning Tony up. "Sleep," he said. "I'll be here in the morning."

Several hours later, Tony smiled as he woke to Jethro's fingers moving softly across his chest. They paused to explore one of his nipples before moving on to play in the coarse hairs over his heart.

"Open your eyes," Jethro whispered. He waited for a moment and when he got no response from Tony, he continued. "I know you're awake. I can feel your heart rate speeding up."

Tony opened his eyes and found the soft blue eyes of his lover looking down at him, highlighted by the morning sun shining through his bedroom window. The look in his eyes was so genuine it warmed Tony from the inside out. His touch was soft but it's warmth penetrated deep into Tony's soul and in that moment Tony realized the same thing he'd been running from for so long, was the very thing he'd been searching for and he'd finally found it.

 **The End**


End file.
